What Is Masking?
Many neurodivergent people talk about “masking”, but the term is still widely misunderstood.
Masking refers to the conscious or unconscious ways someone may hide, suppress or alter parts of themselves in order to fit into social expectations. While it is commonly discussed in relation to autism, many people with ADHD and other neurodivergent experiences also describe masking in their daily lives.
If you’d like a quick introduction to the topic, watch our short video:
What Does Masking Look Like?
Masking can look different from person to person
For some people, it may involve carefully watching how others behave and copying those social cues. Others may suppress behaviours that feel natural to them or rehearse conversations in advance to avoid saying the “wrong” thing.
Many people become so used to masking that they don’t realise how much effort it takes until they begin learning more about neurodivergence.
Why Do Neurodivergent People Mask?
Masking often develops as a way of gaining acceptance, avoiding judgement or navigating environments that were not designed with neurodivergent people in mind.
Some people learn from a young age that certain behaviours attract unwanted attention or criticism. Over time, they may begin changing how they communicate, behave or respond in social situations.
Masking can be a way of staying safe, but it can also be exhausting
The Impact of Masking
While masking can help someone navigate certain environments, it often comes at a cost.
Many neurodivergent people describe feeling drained after social interactions or struggling with a sense of not being fully understood. Constantly monitoring behaviour, communication and reactions can require significant mental energy.
Over time, prolonged masking may contribute to stress, anxiety, burnout and feelings of disconnect from one’s authentic self.
Masking Is Not Being Fake
One common misconception is that masking means someone is being dishonest or pretending to be someone they are not.
In reality, masking is often a survival strategy. It develops because someone is trying to meet expectations, avoid criticism or navigate situations where they do not feel fully accepted.
Understanding masking through a neuro-affirming lens helps us move away from judgement and towards compassion.
A Neuro-Affirming Perspective
A neuro-affirming approach recognises that many people have masked for years in order to cope with environments that felt challenging or unsafe.
Rather than encouraging people to mask more effectively, the focus is on creating spaces where they can feel accepted, understood and supported without needing to hide who they are.
Understanding masking can be an important step towards greater self-awareness and self-compassion.
At Supportive Counselling Ltd, we offer neuro-affirming counselling for autistic and ADHD clients in York and across the UK through online and telephone counselling.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to remember trauma for therapy
No, therapy does not require full memory recall
Why do I feel anxious without knowing why
The nervous system can hold experiences without conscious memory
Can trauma affect sleep
Yes, trauma can keep the body alert and disrupt rest
What kind of support helps trauma and sleep
Therapy combined with structured support such as Deep Sleep Reset can be helpful
Can I access support outside York
Yes, sessions are available face-to-face in York and across the UK online and by telephone
